You are currently viewing It’s finally here: the ultimate blowjob guide!

It’s finally here: the ultimate blowjob guide!

A guide for guys, girls, and members of all genders and sexualities to blow someone good.

I would love to make some guides about oral sex – so if you can leave me links, articles and other examples in the comments below that would be great! My next guide will be for cunnilingus, so if you have a vagina, don’t feel sad… you’re next

Construction

If you can get her hard and make her gasp for it in advance, it will be a lot easier for you to enjoy. Tell them what you are going to do, ask them “do you want me…”, hold their hands over their head and slowly kiss their neck and ears. Briefly kiss her nipples (they’re not very sensitive to most men) and then decide how much more teasing you want to do. Starting with kissing and sucking her feet and going all the way down her legs until you reach the pay load is always popular. But if they are shy, they might worry about smelly feet. Then kissing around her pelvic bones and thighs is good too.

To breathe

Before touching them with your hands, do a long lick along the length of the penis and exhale over the glans. Breath is hot and is a nice way to tease. If you have breasts, brushing down your nipple in the same motion is also good.

spit

You want it as wet as possible. This varies from tail to tail – some are more sensitive than others. But especially when using your hands, you want it nice and wet because a dry handjob is painful. There can never be too much spit. With practice, you can easily spit over it and he can watch it drip onto his cock. Very beautiful.

Ask what they want

I mean, you don’t have to prearrange a blowjob with chatter over a cup of cocoa (unless both of you want, which is actually super sexy and informative). But during the experience, especially in the beginning, try to find out what your blowjob partners like. Do they want you to grip harder or softer? Slow teasing or straight to the collar? Which part is more sensitive, here… or here? Vocal communication also helps stop the primitive “grab the back of the head and shove it down the throat” technique.

The shaft is for your hands, the head is for your tongue and mouth

This is a general rule for beginners or the less confident. The head of the penis is where all the sensitivity is – especially in the area under the rim, and where the foreskin (if it exists) connects to the head. As you become more confident, or closer to the end of the experience, you can mouth more. But until you’re ready, or the penis is particularly large, put the whole head in your mouth. Then grip firmly around the shaft and move your hand up and down. That should make the “job” a success.

Hand and head combo motion 2.0

Once you’re confident in the above phase, you can start moving your mouth further down and taking in more. Try to keep the same rhythm as your hand and the same direction, otherwise you will get confused. Remember lips over teeth. Experiment here too and see what makes him moan – you can use a slight twisting motion with your wrist, or just use two fingers or palm inward on his shaft. And your mouth and tongue can explore – like you do with it when you do the “jerk off machine” and were really bad at finding out.

Deep Throat… a word for the wise

Don’t do it when you’re drunk. Don’t do it the first time with someone you don’t know. Don’t get grabbed by the head and force that all the way back. First because, “I’m not your blow job machine, and second because this will cause him to hit your gag reflex and you’ll throw up on him. It happens more often than you would think.

Don’t worry if they get soft

It’s not a reflection on them. It happens. Maybe they’re tired, they’re nervous, they’re insecure. If they even give you a moment of bullshit about it, they’re an asshole too. When it happens, stop and ask, “Is it my turn?” or “Shall we take a break? or do you want me to do something else?” Maybe they just take a little longer to get hard!

Make noises

God knows why – maybe it’s patriarchy, maybe it’s innate “animal instinct” or whatever pseudo-scientific bullshit. Maybe it’s just because they like to feel sexy (I think it is) but when you make noise it always makes the guy tougher than without. When they start gagging, they lose their minds that they are so big they have to choke.

No vampires

No teeth. Even if you think it might feel nice and teasing, reminding them that realistically you could bite their tail at any time and cause serious pain, it ruins the whole experience. Unless that’s exactly what it’s about – but ask first, it’s only polite.

It’s not really a “blow” job.

“Sucking him off” would be a much more accurate description. You know that feeling when you’re sucking on an ice cream lollipop and your cheeks go all concave? That feels good. Really good. If they have foreskins, roll them down and then place the whole head in your mouth. Put your lips around the bottom edge and then suck. You can move your hands at the same time.

Look him in the eye

It’s hot, you’re hot, you look hot with her cock in your mouth. Even if you don’t think about it, seeing them watching you is hot. Then you will see her eyes roll back and the pleasure all over her face is hotter and will make you more confident. When they stare at you without showing joy, get up, thank them for their time, and spend the next few weeks following the news for stories of a serial killer on the run.

balls-deep

If you have jaw pain or are nervous, the balls are an amazing way to take a break. Never forget that they are there and that they enjoy being there too. Putting one or both in your mouth while rubbing the shaft feels good. Tease her a little before you start.

To talk

Use a firmer grip as you move your hand along the shaft as if trying to squeeze the last color out of a tube.

To swallow or not to swallow?

It’s entirely up to you. First, you should be asked if you can cum in her mouth. Or you can tell them before you start whether you’re in it or not. Second, if you’re going to swallow, go straight ahead. It’s not dirty, it’s (usually – unless he’s a heavy smoker or unclean) delicious. Third, if you want to spit, that’s cool too. Don’t try to make “uh-uh” faces because, honestly, if someone gave you oral sex and then reacted with disgust, you’d feel pretty badass, right?

Bask in the glory of your achievement

But remember, after a man ejaculates, his body tells him to go to sleep. So if he’s super calm afterwards and oversleeps everything, don’t worry. That’s normal, you didn’t bore him, he was just having a really good time. He will later show you how good it was through mutual work. And if he doesn’t, he’s an idiot and you should leave him immediately.

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