Many want to achieve an intense orgasm. But how can you make an orgasm even more kinky? Well, by ruining it, of course. When it comes to BDSM or kink, many people often pull out the whips, chains, and buckets of lube to don a full latex bodysuit. But why not start with a universally loved aspect of sex: the orgasm.
What is a ruined orgasm?
A ruined orgasm is when a person has reached the peak of their sexual intensity and is on the way to orgasm, but ruins it at the last moment. There may be elements of sadism or masochism based on the express desires of the one having the experience. So ruined orgasms are about a few things: control, domination, and power. With the right people, all of these aspects of kink can become super sexy. And while it’s a form of female domination with male partners, women can enjoy the orgasm control game too.
Why?
For many, the experience can be a fetish in which they derive pleasure and gratification from the denial of pleasure.
For the dominant, the appeal of a ruined orgasm is likely to be the satisfaction that comes from being in control. Controlling a submissive person can be fun.
For the submissive person, a ruined orgasm has several causes. They may want to experience the disappointment or humiliation of such an experience, or they may want to indulge in the idea that they are unworthy of the pleasure. A great thrill of submission is the loss of control.
There are different reasons why people enjoy ruined orgasms. Some subs don’t like the humiliation aspect, but they love the control aspect. Some tops are there just to enjoy the act of service and don’t care about control but about gratifying the bottom’s desires.
Since everyone is different, communication is immensely important here!
What should I put attention on?
As a Dom, it is therefore extremely important to know the limits of your partner. These must be observed to ensure consensus. Because if you don’t, it’s no longer fun for anyone.
Is a ruined orgasm the same as edging?
While ruined orgasm may seem similar to edging, they are quite different. The purpose of edging is to get more and longer pleasure, while the purpose of a ruined orgasm is to take away the pleasure to serve the greater purpose of control.
Tips for orgasm control
A successfully botched orgasm requires one thing above all: timing, timing, timing! That is why communication is very important. Of course, estimating arousal levels is much easier for couples who already know each other very well. Physical and verbal communication signals can hardly be misunderstood.
pleasure building
Start by teasing him slowly with your hands or mouth. And bring variety in terms of speed and pressure. Keep building his excitement, but take a little break every now and then – it’ll drive him crazy! Keep teasing him slowly to build more and more sexual tension in him.
Here you can read which sex toys can spice up your foreplay.
communication and a stop word
As said before, it’s important to have constant communication with your partner so that both of you will have a nice experience of ruined orgasms.
Regardless of your level of experience with kink, always remember that feelings (or muscle spasms!) can sometimes crop up in the moment and it’s important to have a word to end the game and respect that. Here’s a stop word is helpful!
Try simple words – it can be either a fruit or a color:
Bind
As soon as you find him whimpering and squirming, he’ll try to lend a hand himself to get the release he’s been denied. You must prevent this at all costs. Therefore, tying his hands to the bed is the best way to stop your sub.
Other restraints like a blindfold or headphones with music can also be very appealing. That increases the tension! Because when he can’t see and hear what you’re doing to him, he forces himself to focus on your touch.
How do I know when there is no return?
people with penises
To tell when there’s no turning back, you’ll either notice your penis, perineum, or prostate twitching. This is a sure sign that your sub is about to climax. If he starts dancing, stop stimulating immediately!
people with vulva
To tell when there’s no turning back, you’ll either notice your cervix pulsating, your perineum twitching — a good sign of impending orgasm — or your vaginal muscles pulsing.
Conclusion
With the right timing, anyone can experience ruined orgasms that will increase their desire for a full orgasm immeasurably. You alone decide whether you want your partner to have a real orgasm at the end! But always remember: Everything should only be done with mutual consent.
